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Author Topic: Suicide prevention thoughts for the younger generation in difficult times  (Read 574 times)

R.R. Book

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Beginning this new topic so as to move a series of recent posts off of the Coronavirus thread and allow suicide prevention to have its own separate space so it doesn't get buried as off-topic posts in the wrong place:


R.R. Book

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Re: Social distancing:

We are planning to invite of few of the boys' college-age friends from the neighborhood over for an outdoor BBQ soon, but will also offer wormwood tea with a thick layer of steamed cream and a little stevia as one of the beverages.  So many of the boys' friends and acquaintances their age have committed suicide in the past few years, that I feel it necessary to care for their spirits first and everything else second, if we are to have representatives of that generation with us in the Aftertime...


R.R. Book

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Re: Social distancing:
..... So many of the boys' friends and acquaintances their age have committed suicide in the past few years, that I feel it necessary to care for their spirits first and everything else second, if we are to have representatives of that generation with us in the Aftertime...
What a sad announcement about your sons' friends and acquaintances.  The future must really look hopeless to the young.  At least you are trying to make a difference!

R.R. Book

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Re: Social distancing:
..... So many of the boys' friends and acquaintances their age have committed suicide in the past few years, that I feel it necessary to care for their spirits first and everything else second, if we are to have representatives of that generation with us in the Aftertime...
What a sad announcement about your sons' friends and acquaintances.  The future must really look hopeless to the young.  At least you are trying to make a difference!
I too cringed at hearing about this. I know that suicide is a MUCH larger issue than TPTB wish to acknowledge and that it's nothing anyone wishes to hear about. It lies at the root of society's issues. And that means that normal folk are helpless to do anything about it, i.e ignore it.
Suicide is one of those symptoms that's just too sophisticated to compute. Nonetheless it is unacceptable. But for TPTB, it's just about 'collateral damage'.
A so-called suicide is nothing compared to the years of grief and hopelessness that must've come before it. Ergo, there must be MANY MORE also suffering who've yet to get so far; nonetheless they too are suffering greatly. Ergo, ignoring suicides is about being wholly apathetic and not giving a hoot about suffering at all. If you ignore suicides, you're just not 'human'...

Not fitting into mainstream culture and having had all 3 of my kids taken from me, perhaps i might be suicidal. Actually i did once put my fate in ' God's ' hands and walk out into a desert [i took the first plane to a desert; it turned out to be the Negev]; after 3 days i was instantaneously and 'miraculously' healed of my hurt. [Oof; such memories; much more i could say on the matter.] I literally ran out of the desert and amazingly found myself at the rear entrance of the Masada show, watched the show, spent my last night in the desert and next morning headed back to the city to buy a ticket home, eager to start a 'new life', now free from the trauma that had been haunting me for so many months.

My faith healed me, for i would not end my own life; i was only willing to put it into ' God's ' hands.
I get that if you have no innate sense that the universe is not out to get you, you might reckon that ending life is your best option. Me, i held out hope-against-hope because of a deep conviction that life must not be inherently bad.
But imagine if you'd been denied any such convinction. Suicide must then seem the next logical step indeed.

Suicides in society are MUCH more than a dramatic issue; they are a condemning symptom that gives a signal of massive suffering; the suffering that went before that last desperate leap and the suffering that's happening to those who've as yet not taken such a leap [i.e. even those who may never take it, yet suffer nonetheless].

Suicide is the ultimate symptom society ignores as proof of their own apathy and inhumanity.
No wonder society choses to wipe the whole matter under the rug. It is the ultimate condemnation of modern culture's failings; if you care so little about others [even your own children!] that they see no option but to resort to this ultimate self-sacrifice, then what does that say about yourself and the values to which you adhere?
Torture and suicide; i know of no more valid condemnations of modern society.

R.R. Book

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Soc, thanks so much for sharing your beautiful testimony of the experience in the desert - both a real and no doubt deeply symbolic experience. 

Agree on your and Ilinda's sentiments about suicide, and just want to share that I believe there is much that can be done about it as parents, and there are some things that "should" be done about it as a society, but mainstream society seems to be reaching a terminal divide at which a dimensional separation may need to occur before repairs can be made.

What parents can do:

*Structure their finances so that they want less materially and can afford to leave one parent's attention fully focused upon the children at all ages and stages, well into young adulthood

*Get to know other parents in the immediate area, and make some allies

*Keep a list of their phone contact info at your fingertips

*Remember other families in the neighborhood during the holidays with a card, a visit, baked goods, etc.

*Make an early and regular habit of structured family time: Sunday brunch, movie night, reading a novel aloud together, discussions of current events while in the car together.  Don't assume that an annual vacation together will fill in the gaps.

*Share the wealth: pay children and young adults what you can for their work around the house and garden, with the understanding that we all have an obligation to pitch in and help without pay, but they're being paid because it's financially possible at this time

*Mentor them in a trade if possible, and all that much better if there is a family business that youth can work in and learn skills. 

*Keep the ratio of praise to criticism 7:1 or better, and be aware of how often we criticize, with what words and in what tone.  Say "thank you" at every possible opportunity.

*Keep up a constant conversation about drugs and alcohol from a very early age.  Set the appropriate example of not abusing substances ourselves as parents.  Conversely, avoid creating a stringent taboo that would be attractive to violate.  Strictly abide by the "friends don't let friends drive..." rule and encourage a designated driver when appropriate.

*Network with other parents to encourage youth to keep a regular calendar of events in neighborhood homes: one family hosts all the young people around Christmas, another for New Year's, a couple of families alternate bonfires, one family invites all the youth to an auto show or amusement park, etc.  If everyone pitches in a covered dish, there is an abundance of food at all times.  Make sure no young person is left out of the invitations.

*Become familiar with all the young people's birthdays, and make them of importance to the whole community

*Keep youth well-supplied with brain supplements such as B-complex, lecithin, magnesium, etc., especially if they've had alcohol, and ensure that they get a good night's sleep when not out late for a special event or working late.  Take turns with other parents offering the floor or couch to other youth visiting late into the night, so that no one needs to drive home until morning.  This also gives them time and space to open up and talk with one another, beyond the usual video games and sports.

*Within one's own home, keep electronic entertainment as positive as possible, avoiding excessive violence and other negativity in fiction, while openly discussing the topic of real abuses in history that we don't want to repeat.

*Keep expectations about the larger society realistic: Don't build up the role of clergy, civil servants, or other authority figures, and maintain an open conversation about their fallibility.

*Home school if possible, while including non-home-schooled young people from the immediate area in family activities.

*Make small pleasant surprises part of every day life if possible, without spending lavishly on them.  A licorice stick from the health food store, a healthy dessert with dinner, a day trip to a mystery destination, a spontaneous party for no special occasion...

*Take regular walks around the neighborhood to establish a presence, so that you are well-known to other families, and remain approachable for conversations.

*Encourage time spent out in nature, with feet in contact with the earth

*On rare occasions, there may be an association that parents may want to discourage, possibly from somewhere else, and be prepared to explore sound reasons for this as tactfully as possible, while making time and resources available to encourage more positive associations.  I can think of very few times that we've done this here, due to unmedicated rages on the part of the outsider, etc.

*Keep the house pleasantly lit with lamps and candles on dreary days, and the smell of something baking or cooking in the kitchen

*Come up with affectionate nicknames for each other, mostly in private, to the extent that everyone is comfortable with them

*Keep pets in the home

*Try to have something tangible to pass on to them when you're gone in the form of whatever is possible: a family farmette, some savings, sentimental heirlooms, placed in an irrevocable trust if needed.  This can be done inexpensively and legally for one's own jurisdiction on-line.  Most important to pass on though is one's spirit,  example, and lots of memories. 

*Hold the younger generation in prayer daily

Other thoughts?

 

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